Yes, this is a picture of my feet. And yes, this is the sad place I find myself. Before you assume that I’ve lost socks in the wash, let me be authentic (one of the things I’m trying to do) and just admit the humiliating truth right up front. I had to take my daughter to school. I had to have socks because I can’t stand to put bare feet in my shoes. And I didn’t have any clean socks. So I rifled through the pile of laundry on my bedroom floor (one of the many problems with the way I’ve been keeping house) and tried to find the cleanest pair of already worn socks. Now, please don’t hate me. This was a temporary fix and an act of utter desperation. At least I stayed within the same color family.
Within the messiness that is mostly hidden from the casual observer, I have three main things that threaten to do me in: paper, clothes and toys. The paper consists of bills, medical stuff, other financial stuff, etc. that hasn’t been filed in way too long. The toys, you can well imagine, but they are like a wild beast that is caged. As long as the cage door remains shut, it’s livable, but the moment it is opened it’s as if some hideous monster upchucked all over my family room. And then we have clothes, which is way more than laundry. I have clothes to sort, clothes that need to be given away, clothes that my little one needs to try on to see if they still fit. I feel like I’m swimming in a swamp and can’t see the shore. I know what the problem is. An underlying form or structure that keeps the whole system running smoothly simply does not exist.
Needless to say, I washed socks today (along with other things). I have to admit that when I look at all the things I need to work on, I feel overwhelmed and a sense of paralysis sets in. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what to do. But because the sock situation was staring me in the face, so to speak, I decided to start with the clothes dragon. I evaluated my system (or lack thereof) and made some changes. I no longer have a laundry pile in my bedroom. Instead, it’s neatly sorted in this.
I have had this for years, in my laundry room. You know what I pulled out of it to move it upstairs? Two tablecloths, my little girl’s floaties and goggles, and about six sweaters “waiting” to be washed. Oh, and two pillows. Oh, and a rug hooking kit.
This is almost as humiliating as my eight jars of honey. But … but, changes were made today; little changes in a long line of little changes that must happen before I have a smoothly running system. Laugh if you will, but I’m thrilled that I’ve made any progress at all. All I can do is live each day, taking steps in the right direction. Today, I took steps; baby steps maybe, but steps nonetheless. I am happy with that. A year from now I will look back and holler, “Huzzah!! Three cheers for the journey.”