This blog is actually not new. It is (re)new(ed). I tried starting this process about a year ago, but I just wasn’t in that “place” where I could commit and make right choices and keep going. But when I began considering trying again, I went back to the posts from last year, just to see if my thoughts on my problem had changed any. (One of the things I have now that I didn’t have then is a daily discipline of writing. Now, I write for a living – six days a week I’m pouring words through my keyboard.) I only posted four times last year before giving up. This is sad, but true.
So I went back to read the few words I’d written, and something totally unexpected met me in that little failed blog. You see, I had met a woman online – she was the neighbor of a friend of mine, she was 37 years old, and she was dying of breast cancer. Because of my own battle with the beast, we had connected. She had a blog (which I read) and I had journaled about my own experience. She sought me out, and in doing so, stumbled upon my four posts. This is the comment she left:
“I recognize this struggle. My mom-in-law taught me (it’s more honest to say I’m trying to learn what she exemplified to me) that a messy, disorganized house does not have to interfere with people thoroughly enjoying being there. I’ve not known anyone else (she was also a homeschooling mom of 8) who was so good at laying aside expectations and ministering in such a fun way to others. Sorry I don’t have any great tips to offer – I’ve found that only a handful of them have worked for me anyway. Thanks for your comment on my blog. I had to check this one of yours out because the title was irresistible. I’ll be thinking of you and praying too as long as I’m able. Hope your battle against cancer is supremely successful. Amy C B”
Amy wrote this just a few days before she passed away, leaving seven children behind. I read it, and I wept. And in that moment, I remembered with exquisite clarity that every single moment counts. With this in mind, today I did nothing in pursuit of my goal of change. Today, I simply lived, trying to be present in every moment, because none of us knows how many moments we have.