In the winter, I use cuticle cream to moisturize my cuticles and fingertips. This winter, when the dryness set in, I looked for the cuticle cream I knew I had. I looked in the linen closet, the medicine cabinet, my nightstand, and the pantry – the four most logical places for it to be. It was (predictably) nowhere to be found, so I bought another. What is the relevance of this, you may ask. I’ll get to that.
I predict this will be a year of finding and losing. I hope, of course, to find some major things, like my sense of self and my purpose; but, I predict I’ll also find some minor things that I thought were gone forever and perhaps have even forgotten about. I also believe it will be a year of loss – loss of the clutter and chaos that currently seem to rule, loss of fatigue, and loss of restlessness and dissatisfaction.
This morning I spent a mad twenty minutes searching for my pom-pom maker. The scarf I have committed to finally finishing has pom-poms on it, and I am 99% certain that this little doohickey resides somewhere in my bedroom. It was not (predictably) with my other knitting supplies, and therefore this was a lost twenty minutes, forever gone, never to be retrieved, and this reinforces my need to simplify, organize, and de-clutter my life. I will not cry over these lost minutes, but will simply continue to take small steps toward change.
I did not find my pom-pom maker (predictably!!). Interestingly, what I did find was the missing cuticle cream. I also found a roll of packing tape. This has a home in my desk, and when I took it to where it belongs, what did I find? You guessed it – another roll of packing tape, which I’m sure I bought because I couldn’t find the original one. I’ve included photographic evidence of this sad reality.
Unfortunately, this is a habit. I made a cake last month, sweetened with honey, and I realized I had eight open jars of honey, each about 1/8th full. (Please don’t judge me. Trust me, I’m judging myself enough for all of us.) Then after I made the cream cheese frosting and went to the pantry to put away the remaining powdered sugar, I found two open bags of sugar that I hadn’t seen before making my grocery list. How does this happen? The answer is simple. The Clutter Monster, that evil, hungry, controlling beast, occasionally resides within my very soul. But, I am determined to see it exorcised. I will keep my cuticle cream and tape where they belong. I will consolidate my honey and sugar. And at some unexpected moment in the coming days, I will hold that little pom-pom maker in my hand, and as I put it with my other knitting supplies, I will taste victory ~ a small victory, but victory nonetheless.